Sync Timeline?

So I just found out that WP-IG’s sync system is quite… Weird ?

Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 4.31.04 PM

This morning I updated this blog with Audio post (‘Pogo ‘Ode for Lovers”) and this afternoon I updated my Instagram feed with some pictures and video of Wira and I in KLCC playground. However, the WP-IG plugin synchronized the feed and put the time stamp as ‘4:09 AM’ onwards. Wonder what happened. Hmm.

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Musim Pancaroba, Musimnya Sakit

Karena masih dalam semangat ayo ngeblog, saya kembaliiiiiii~ Uhu uhu.

Kali ini ada kaitannya sama musim pancaroba dan musimnya orang-orang pada tumbang, tua ataupun muda. Terutama yang muda sih. Yang ngaku (masih) muda ya… Iya tapi dikit. Banget.

Anyway

Jadi kan belum lama ini Wira dan saya tumbang tuh. Pake drama anaknya demam mendekati 40 derajat Celcius pula. Plus saya demam ringan dan sakit kepala.

Nah, sekarang kok ya kejadian lagi ? Jadi tadi pagi, Wira seperti biasa makan sereal pake susu lalu nonton Pocoyo. Tapi ini anak nonton Pocoyo gayanya kaya lagi akrobat — aneh-aneh. Nungging lah, ndelosotan di sofa lah, kadang sampe guling-guling. Ari sempet nanya, “kenapa tuh anaknya?” Saya jawab kalo saya juga nggak tahu. Iseng tanya ke Wira, “Wira sakit perut?” Lah, anaknya ngangguk. Lalu dia mendekati saya, minta gendong. Saya gendong, mendadak anaknya bersendawa keras banget lalu gumoh/muntah sedikit. Saya sempet komentar, “udah lama ga digumohin Wira, hahaha” — soalnya terakhir dia gumoh itu ya pas dia masih bayi.

Awalnya kita kira masuk angin biasa ya. Soalnya malem sebelumnya kita sempet makan burger di Johnny Rockets di Avenue K dan AC di situ rada ga kira-kira. Negara tropis sih negara tropis, tapi ya masang AC jangan macem ambisi mau bikin kutub di mari dong. Sesudah mandi, Wira saya gosokin minyak kayu putih. Selepasnya, anaknya cengar-cengir lagi.

Nah. Ini saya inget banget. Jam 09:15 pagi, Wira jatoh dari sofa. Anaknya lompat-lompat di sofa, dan yawdalahya umur bandel-bandelnya, saya kasih tau jangan lompat-lompat malah ngeyel. Lompat rada tinggi ke arah bantal, mantul, lalu jatuh deh terlentang ke lantai.

Anaknya nangis sambil menghentak-hentakkan kakinya kesal. Saya gendong. Lalu… Muntah.

Eng ing eng ?

Kalo dalam artikel-artikel kesehatan anak, terutama bayi dan balita, kalo si anak jatuh dari ketinggian lalu muntah, itu alarm orangtua harus udah bunyi kenceng. Tapi saya perhatiin anaknya masih biasa-biasa aja — dan saya sebenernya agak jengkel karena dia ngeyel nggak mau dengerin nasehat saya jadi saya sempet ngomel sebentar. Bebersih sebentar dan kirim pesan WhatsApp ke Ari soal Wira jatuh, saya sempet ngebatin, “coba observasi selama 48 jam kali ya…” Saya tanya ke Wira, “kepala Wira yang sakit yang mana?” Dia malah ngegeleng. “Nggak sakit!” jawabnya. “Ini yang sakit!” Dia nunjuk ke… Perut.

… … … Okeeeee ?

Jam satu, kita makan siang. Nasi pake sup (soalnya ini anak riwil deh urusan makan pake sayur. Baru mau makan sayur kalo makan sup) — dan ga seperti biasanya yang ini anak tukang ngemil dan buka tutup lemari es, dia ga semangat makan.

Nggak lama, Ari pulang. Dia emang kerja setengah hari karena sorenya harus pergi lagi ke luar kota untuk dinas offshore. Ngeliat Wira makannya sedikit, Ari coba ngebujuk sambil nyuapin Wira — sementara itu saya cerita ke Ari kejadian Wira jatuh tadi pagi. Selama ini kalo Wira nolak makan, biasanya gaya merajuk ngeselin. Tapi kali ini bener-bener ga mau dengan mulut dikatup rapat-rapat lalu memejamkan mata.

Mendadak, dia buka mata lalu muntah lagi.

Hyah.

Udah lah, kita langsung mikir, “ke rumah sakit. SEKARANG.” Selama bersiap-siap, saya dan Ari bolak-balik nanya ke Wira, “Wira mana yang sakit?” Dan selalu Wira menjawab (dengan rada kesel karena orangtuanya bolak-balik nanya hal yang sama), “perut Wira! Tummy! Perut Wira yang sakit!”

Jadi lah kita mikir, “… … Ini anak muntah karena tadi jatuh atau karena masuk angin?”

Sesampainya di rumah sakit, Wira keliatan biasa-biasa aja. Kaya jatuh tadi ga ngefek apa-apa ke dia. Main-main dan jalan-jalan seperti biasa. Ketemu dokter, dokter cek di sensorik dia (menyorotkan sinar senter ke mata) dan mendengarkan bunyi perut Wira dengan stetoskop — yang mengharuskan anaknya terlentang di tempat tidur ruang dokter dan berujung anaknya ngamuk dan protes keras.

Dokter komentar, “his sensory reception is okay. I see that his fall doesn’t affect anything. Him vomiting before might be caused by bloating.” Jadi anak ini sebenernya gapapa setelah jatuh tadi, tapi muntahnya itu justru sebenernya karena masuk angin. Dan dokter menambahkan kalo itu bukan masuk angin aja — tapi kembung.

Yailah.

Saya keinget banget waktu SD dulu saya pernah kembung. Itu asli ga enak banget. Perut kalo diketuk-ketuk atau ditepuk-tepuk bunyinya “tung tung”, dan perut sakit. Tante saya pernah nyaranin, “nungging aja biar kentut!” Ya antara sukses dan nggak. Dan emang iya, perut sakit yang berujung males makan — semua-semuanya jadi nggak enak.

Dokter juga nambahin bahwa kembung ini normal banget dan biasanya karena perut nerima makanan yang kurang sehat atau juga karena pengaruh cuaca. “Make sure that you give him warm water.” Siap, dok.

Wira dikasih resep obat anti mual, anti kembung/anti-colic, dan obat diare. Yang obat diare ini diberikan hanya ketika anaknya diare. Kalo ga diare ya jangan.

Di rumah, pas jam makan malam Wira masih ga semangat makan. Saya tanya beberapa kali, dia selalu jawab, “nggak mau makan.”

“Wira belum mau makan?”

“Wira NGGAK mau makan.”

“Belum mau makan?”

Ini saya yakin banget anaknya udah ngerti konsep “nggak” dan “belum”. Kalo “belum”, artinya “nanti iya (makan)”. Kalo “nggak”, ya artinya “kalo bisa sampe besok ga usah makan deh, bu…” ?

Anaknya diem sebentar, dan kayanya dia mikir daripada debat ga penting sama saya, dia ngejawab, “… Iya. Wira belum mau makan.”

Saya diem. Ngeliat dia. Anaknya masih ogah-ogahan makan. Akhirnya saya tanya, “Wira mau makan apa?”

“Mie instan kuah,” jawabnya pendek.

Biasanya sih, kalo anaknya lagi sehat, ga bakal deh saya turutin, hahaha. Tapi karena anaknya lagi sakit, apapun yang dia lagi pengen dan bisa masuk perut, ya udah lah saya bikinin. Jadi saya bikinin dia semangkuk mie instan Maggi lalu saya hidangkan ke dia.

Anaknya makan. Sedikiiiit banget. Cuma semangkuk kecil (mangkuk makan dia), itu juga nggak abis. Tapi lumayan daripada dia nggak makan sama sekali.

Barusan saya gosokin perutnya dengan minyak kayu putih, perutnya buncit dan berbunyi “tung tung” pas saya tepuk-tepuk. Anaknya cekikikan sendiri denger bunyi perutnya.

Padahal baru kemarin dia makan empat potong keju Kraft Singles, dua mangkuk sereal, dan nyaris menghabiskan sekotak strawberry.

Cepet sembuh ya nak. 

On some past memories

OK. So I’m going to write something that has been bugging me since yesterday (and along with my pledge to be more active in blogging dammit).

Years and years ago, I was in this toxic relationship with a guy. This guy was a no stranger for me before we started the relationship. Actually, he was my ex-boyfriend back in junior high school. We broke up before because he was this violent manipulative guy and at that time, my mother decided that enough is enough and pulled me from that whole… Hijinks.

Now, if you asked me, “if you know how he was, why did you went back to him again?” My answer is: I was stupid. In Indonesian language, we have this saying “keledai tidak akan jatuh untuk kedua kalinya di lubang yang sama” — a donkey won’t fall down on the same hole twice. So yeah, I was stupider than a donkey.

So I was still in my undergraduate studies when this guy popped up in front of my dorm house — six years later after we last saw each other in junior high school. So to cut story short, we dated, he went SNAFU — even worse — and yet again my mother — a Super Mom, she is — saved the day. Yeah, you can say I was too stupid and too coward to pull myself out from that fucked up situation. But I have to tell you this: I was too afraid.

So I think it’s fair to see that victims of domestic abuse usually got too afraid because of how manipulative the perpetrator could be. Yes, the victim’s mind is being toyed and manipulated up to a very sickening point. We were threatened and got insults hurled to us up to a point that we THINK we were worse than animals and “unworthy”; and that’s how emotional abuse works: make the victim feels unworthy and powerless so the victim will have nobody to depend to except one: the abuser — aaaand the circle goes again.

So never ask a victim/survivor, “why don’t you just get away from it?” Oh, we wish we could, you know. We wish we could.We managed to see things clearly and realized how shitty it was just when we finally managed to get free from it. It’s like that “a-ha” moment when we saw it, and followed with “HOW CAN I BE SO STUPID?”

Now, one thing that bugged me is:

How the hell could he find my dorm house?

I never inform my dorm house address publicly, especially on the Internet. I realized that I might spilled some information here and there (“oh, it’s near this building”, “oh, you can see so and so from my place”) — and I think that what gave it all away. Just put the puzzles together and voila.

So not only I was dated a violent manipulative guy, he’s (“is”. Maybe. He always has this stalker-ish trait on him) a chronic stalker too.

Daaaaaaamn.

So. I know this entry is just some sort of a passing, a random writing and sort. But, anyway, I really hope you guys my dear readers won’t ever have to be in a position like I was in domestic violence.

http://kappachan.tumblr.com/post/116188408265/30-signs-of-emotional-abuse

https://secure.assets.tumblr.com/post.js

I would like to take a special note on point #7.You feel like you need permission to make decisions or go out somewhere. Please differ this one between emotional abuse AND a healthy communication.

I ALWAYS tell Ari whenever I have intention to go outside all by myself; because I don’t want him to get worry for me. By telling him — “hey, I am going to KLCC Park later on” — I’m letting him know where I am and should I need him, he will know where to find me. And a person in a healthy relationship will usually permit it, unless on life-threatening situation (“going to KLCC Park right when Godzilla is having a battle with Mothra in the EXACT SAME SPOT? ARE YOU CRAZY?” “AW COME ON, MAN. INSTAGRAM AND PERISCOPE-MATERIALS! IMAGINE THE THUMBS UP I CAN GET”) Being in a healthy relationship means that you give some space to your partner.

Now, a toxic relationship is different. When I was with that ex-boyfriend, I even had to tell him whenever I need to go to the toilet. It’s true. I had to SMSed him that I will not be in my classroom because I have to go to the toilet. He would patronized me; “are you really going to the toilet? With whom? After the toilet, where are you going next? Don’t you dare to go to any other places without my permission!”

So, yeah, you get the differences.